Exclusive: Hero Horse joins Twitter!

Follow me Comrades - on Twitter!

Yes my loyal subjects it is true...You can now follow me on Twitter!
To read my latest 'Horse Tweets' just simply click on the link below! Hurrah!


StefanMaoMed on Twitter


Viva la Revolution!

Cheers, Steven

Comrades!

ATTENTION!! SIEG HEIL!! HEIL VON MAO-MED!!!

                  

Your leader salutes you his loyal subjects! Please accept my humblest apologies for the long delay since my last communication. The reasons for this are complicated, which I will explain later, but I can assure you that we are still on course to achieve our goals. We WILL conquer the world and turn every living creature into a horse! Hurrah!!
 

Agenda:

Heroic Leader kidnapped!

The Grand National 2011

Horseology Recruitment

TV Projects update

World Domination Computer

Heroic leader kidnapped!

I will spare you all the horrible details but I was recently kidnapped by Newcastle council! Animal welfare officers grabbed me while I was harmlessly grazing on the Kenton plains,  and I was set to be put down as part of a cull operation to cut animal costs following the credit crunch. This is one of the reasons for my lack of communication in recent months. Anyway your humble fabulist was put into a holding pen to await my execution. For days I was tortured and abused. I was kept under lock and key in a tiny room with five other horses in atrocious conditions. With just minutes to spare on the morning of my execution however, you’re brave hero defied the odds with an incredible escape! My trusty steed Herr Wormhawk’s rescue plan hit a snag when he tripped over a series of fences and landed in a pile of horse excrement,  but as the guards holding me fell about laughing I used the distraction to kick my tormentors out the way with my mighty hooves and ran off into the sunset! Hurrah!

The Grand National 2011

Once again I won the Grand National. Under the alias of ‘Ballabriggs’ I was ridden really hard by a handsome young Irish jockey and romped to victory! Hurrah!! It was a tough race but once again the best horse won. Sadly my usual jockey Peter Christie once again had to withdraw from the race after failing a late fitness test.

Horseology Recruitment

My hooves of Darkness will be visiting towns and villages across the UK this summer to spread the word about all things Horseology. Also they will be promoting my amazing soon to be released new book, ‘Mein Kampf’.  Stay tuned for further details!

TV Projects update

Negotiations are ongoing to get my two TV projects on air. Frustratingly both ‘The Snowmed’ and ‘Mao-Manimal-Med’ have been delayed by endless red tape and bureaucracy. However we have not given up and I hope to soon have news to share with you. Fear not though comrades I currently have other projects in development including: ‘The Wonder Horse Years’, Kevin Mao-Med is a young misunderstood horse in 60’s American Suburbia, Kevin’s rights of passage story follows him through childhood being the only ‘Horseboy’ in his school to  his difficult teenage years to finally the day he becomes a full adult horse. Also in production is ‘Monkfeesh’, Peter Christie stars as the hard boiled Wallsend private eye who solves crimes in Newcastle’s seedy underworld. The world weary detective takes to Tyneside's mean streets to catch the deadliest criminals. Along the way Monkfeesh gets help from his two trusty sidekicks Mongmed, a talking horse with magical powers and Pablo, a young Puerto Rican midget boy. Keep an eye on the blog for updates on my TV projects...

World Domination Computer

After years of careful planning I have started to build a super computer that will help me rule the world! The Hadron Collider will look like a ZX81 compared to my masterpiece!
The World Domination computer (WDC) uses groundbreaking ‘Horse-fusion’ technology that basically combines cutting edge computer technology with organic horse meat. The living computer-horse organism is then turbo charged with Herr Wormhawk’s special Ace Lager & pease pudding formula to create my astonishing doomsday device. Finally the WDC will be fitted with 'lasers' that will be used to zap humans into horses. 

Viva la Revolution!

Cheers, Steven

Exclusive! - My New Movie!

Exclusive! 'The Snowmed' Movie


Comrade! I have incredibly exciting news! I have just finished filming my new movie! 'The Snowmed' is a winter fantasy adventure for all the family and has been my top secret project for some time, but now all is finallyrevealed! 'Snowmed' is an animated adventure movie that originally began as an idea I had to write a book for young horses. It tells the story of Steven Wong-Johnson, a young boy who never fit in with the other children. He dreams of one day becoming a mighty horse.

One winter's day he awakes to find a heavy snowfall and builds a beautiful snow horse in his back garden. At the end of the day he waves goodnight to his new best friend before going to bed. The next morning something magical happens when Snowmed comes to life. Steven and Snowmed decide to fly across the snow covered winter landscape of Kenton to sound of the awe inspiring theme song, 'The Snowmed' sung by yours truly. Our two heroes embark on a wonderful winter adventure, along the way they'll some amazing characters including Father Peter Hackett - a drunken priest, Police detective Monkfeesh and of course, Lennox.

The Snowmed will be the event of the year when it hits TV screens this winter. Stay tuned to the blog for further updates on 'The Snowmed'.

Viva La Revolution!

Cheers,

Steven.

Horseology News Update

Comrade!

Welcome to my Blog! Hurrah! It's been a busy week for your humble fabulist but I’ve managed to find a spare 5 minutes to keep you all up to date with what's happening in Horseology and my latest projects.

'Mao-Manimal-Med' Pilot delayed by ITV9

Yes comrades I’m sorry to report that the premier of the Mao-Manimal-Med pilot has been delayed after talks with ITV9 bosses hit a stalemate. We are waiting for confirmation that my fantastic new show will be broadcast by the station but they have appointed a new manager who is not entirely convinced that Mao-Manimal-Med is the type of show for ITV9. Fear not though comrades! I cannot say too much at this stage of the negotiations but I am confident our show will soon be televised. Already we've had interest from TV stations in Peru and Iraq - So we will be victorious!


Evil Human 'Christmas Festival'

It's getting closer to that horrible time of year when humans celebrate the birth of Jesus and celebrate Christmas. As a horse I hate their evil sacred day and once again I will do my utmost to ruin Christmas for everyone. Plans are top secret as you can imagine, but this year I not only plan to steal more brackets but also people's Christmas turkeys and kiddies' presents. Bah Humbug.


Fruit Salad FC

Despite what you may have read in the press, Fruit Salad FC are the greatest Fantasy football league in the world and I am the greatest manager. The evil humans are all against me but I will prove them wrong when I win the league. The latest human propaganda is that I failed to score any points as my team was full of horses. Everyone knows that horses automatically score double points because they are beautiful. My message to these evil humans is...I'll remember.

The Kenton Wall

Once again I cannot reveal too much at this stage but Herr Wormhawk and I have developed plans to build a new Kenton Wall. Named project 'Death Star', the new Wall be even better than the original. Once it's complete I will rule the galaxy!

Viva la revolution!

Cheers, Steven

The 'Mao-Manimal-Med' Pilot - It's a Wrap!

Attention Comrades!

I'm delighted to announce that last night we finished filming the 'Mao-Manimal-Med' pilot episode. It was a tough shoot and I couldn't have done it without the hard work put in by my crew and of course the hooves of darkness, thanks again guys. Filmed on location in Kenton, Skegness and Newcastle, the ground breaking show will very soon be unleashed on ITV9.

Mao-Manimal-Med is the story of a misunderstood horse with a very special ability. Steven Wong Mao-Med was born a human but one day his wildest dreams came true when he turned into a horse. He soon discovers that he can turn into other animals at will and decides to use his talents to help fight crime. Only two people know Steven's secret - his friend Peter Wormhawk and Monkfeesh, a police detective. Mao-Manimal-Med assists Monkfeesh with cases he is working on, transforming himself into an animal when it becomes useful. Keep checking 'From the Horse's Mouth' for news updates on Mao-Manimal-Med.

Cheers, Steven

Human > Horse metamorphosis...Major break through

Comrades,

I would like to share with you some fantastic news!! As many of my esteemed followers will already know, I have been working for many years to perfect the long sought after art of converting a man into a horse and as of today I can proudly announce that I have made a significant step forward in perfecting the process by converting 46.3% of a disabled old man into horse.

No doubt there will be many fools who do not believe and demand proof.........well my friends I bring you proof:

Comrades!

Hello and welcome to the very first instalment of 'From The Horses Mouth'. Let me introduce myself, my name is Stefan Von Mao-Med. I also go under many other aliases including: Steven Johnson, Lennox, Triplicating Bracket Baron Wonder Horse, Oliver Plunkett, Colonel Wong etc etc.
As some of you may already know I was born a human but have recently changed into a mighty horse. I love horses and will soon be turning the whole world into horses. The main aim of this blog is to let you know what's happening with my mission to conquer the world. I am the leader of Horseology. We do not believe in human Gods. We believe in horses. Also on the blog I wil reveal some of my inner most thoughts and tell you about other projects I am involved in.

Cheers, Steven.